"Thank you for this! You are definitely on to something - to the point that I'm in tears with relief knowing someone else understands".
- Reader
This was originally sent in a newsletter April 2023.
Am I Onto Something Here?
--
(FORWARD THIS TO A FRIEND YOU'D LOVE TO CATCH UP WITH)
👇
There are many reasons why people are disconnected and I think this could be the greatest tip to see people reconnect.
I'VE GOT ONE QUESTION
"Are there people in your life that you don't see enough of?"
--
Here is my take:
The answer is
"Yes."
"100 percent."
"Y tho...?"
Here's one thought...
🗣️WE FEEL UNDER PRESSURE TO PERFORM
IF YOU'RE THE HOST
Inviting people over means you have to:
coordinate, cook, clean, accommodate nutritional and dietary needs of others. You feel like you have to be "ON". You might even be worried that they won't leave once bedtime rolls around. You feel you have to look sharp, the house has to be spotless, your cooking has to be immaculate, the kids have to be behaved, the dog needs to be muzzled, your playlist needs to be tight.
IF YOU'RE THE GUEST
I suppose there's less pressure here: but who's gone over to someones place WITHOUT A GIFT and worried SO MUCH about what your hosts might think when you haven't brought a bottle of wine.
"...Who started this?"
And, so I guess what I'm encouraging is that we relieve ourselves of this pressure.
IF THIS IS TRUE FOR YOU
Forward this to a friend or family member you'd look to see more often
OR
Send your friend or loved one a message saying something along the lines of:
"I miss you, I want to see you, I want to stop by around XX:XX. I will have eaten, I don't want anything to drink, and I have a hard stop time of XX:XX. I'll be wearing pajamas and hope the kids are on their worst behaviour. If you're down I can't wait to see you, and if another time works for similar plan I'm eager to arrange an evening!"
Let's take the pressure off of each other, so that we can see more of each other.
I'm about to go do the same thing.
-Kevin
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